Are YOU safe on social media?
January is the time, when after Christmas we have no money and no energy and decide to hibernate, well at least until pay day and what do you do during this time? We binge watch TV and I have been doing just that, I have been currently making my way through You on Netflix and its left me with a lot of questions, feelings and thoughts.
If you haven’t watched it, I will try not to spoil it too much for you as I think it’s definitely worth a watch.
The first season is based on the 2014 novel of the same name by Caroline Kepnes and follows Joe Goldberg, a New York bookstore manager portrayed by Penn Badgley, who falls in love with a customer named Guinevere Beck (Elizabeth Lail) and quickly becomes obsessed with her. You explore the blurred lines between love and obsession, and hero and villain. In the process, it looks at the potential lengths to which the idea of 'love conquers all’ is really applicable. As You is situated in modern western society, modern day New York to be exact, it explores the dangers of social media culture with an emphasis on a lack of digital privacy.
A woman walks into his shop one day, soon leads to his obsession. One of the shocking parts of this story is just how easily and how much he found out about her simply through social media and searching her on the internet. He found out where she lived, who her family were, her friends and nearly every little detail in-between all within 10 minutes of meeting.
'You' gives a rare view on the stalking and also shines a light on how we use social media to paint our lives without giving it much thought about the information we are sharing.
Back in the day before social media, it wasn’t as simple to “track” down your crush, you couldn’t put their name into Google search bar and lists of information would appear like you could today. You may have gotten grainy snaps of them on your very basic camera phone or maybe they were mentioned in their local paper but if you wanted to find out more it was down to good old asking about and not just an anonymous click search.
One of the biggest problems with social media today is the amount of information that is available. When I post a photo to on of my accounts, I am at the mercy of my followers and how they interact with it, they can share it, save it and can even edit it. Someone of the opposite sex may always ‘like’ my photos or comment on them, but to someone who is stalking or paying extra attention to my account; they’ve already created their own idea of the situation. The amount of men and unwanted comments (and pics) that I get send through my DM’s just shows that sometimes people get the wrong idea. I didn’t realise that me posting a picture with my children would somehow warrant men to send pictures of their dicks...but there they are! BLOCKED!
I think we are all guilty of this behaviour. You have a crush on someone or want “check up” on someone. It’s driving you mad and all you want is more information...like, now. Most people know that by ‘liking’ the person photos and increasing interaction more with them online once you’ve gotten into that “I like you, lets be friends” area. But wait, who is this girl that likes his photos? And wait – why does he like all of hers? Is that an ex? He must be with her, too. Before you know it, you’re three years deep on a stranger’s Instagram page looking through their sister’s, husbands, brothers, dogs wedding photos. Yip, you have entered stalker mode!
But the real problem with social media stalking is this: how do we know the information we’re getting is even correct or reliable?
Often social media is portraying a “fake” reality, an idea of how life “should” be. Just like in the show, You, Beck has posted how she wanted the world to see her and we soon find out that this isn’t the truth.
You are constantly flooded with pictures of others we don't even know, who show the life you so wish you had but the reality is that these people are also going through struggles just like everybody else but the pictures don’t tell that story. Nobody's life is all sunshine and butterflies all the time. We all go through life's hardships, failure, disappointment, heartbreaks and pain, and just as in life we can hide it, snap a picture, edit it and place a plaster over the crack and show the world we are actually doing OK! And the world believes it.
It is comforting to suppose that there is a massive difference between harmless social media stalking and the kind that crosses over into criminal behaviour, but the gap between the two is not as big as we like to think.
In accepting someone as a friend or follower, even on private profiles, you are usually giving them access to everything you’ve ever posted. What if that person later turns out to be dangerous? Even if we waited to approve Instagram followers until we felt we knew them well in real life, you can never be sure. Ask anyone who has ever dated someone who later went on to stalk them.
Social media is a great invention that lets people across the world connect with each other and, as long as you are safe, it can be a very positive part of your life. However, just as people know to be sceptical of strangers they meet in person, you should be just as wary of letting your digital companions know too much about your personal life.
A lot of bloggers don’t think about this, but what you write about your children will be online forever. Future employers and schools can Google them and find your posts about medical conditions, bed-wetting or inappropriate behaviour. Writing or posting about others or work can get you in hot water too. I have known someone to actually get fired, due to his comments on a Facebook page.
As bloggers, the images we post are seen inspirational and, for many, a way to make money, which is made explicit by the “#ad” or “#sponsored” tags that follow their captions. This opens them up to a level of uncontrolled criticism that, on some level is expected. But online abuse, harassment, and even stalking of social media influence's should never be tolerated or accepted as part of finding success on those platforms. I have witnessed many a blogger stop writing due to the horrendous abuse they have received.
Most importantly, we must remember that what we post on social media is a reflection of ourselves, how others perceive us. I tend to take note of everyone I see on social media who continuously makes hateful, ignorant posts, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, BLOCKED.
So, as a rule of thumb, ask yourself a few questions before posting. Is what you're posting to your followers/friends giving away more than you want to? Is it necessary the information you are giving? Do you want people to associate you with this post; does it give out the wrong message?
Yes, you have the right to post whatever you want, but that doesn't mean that you always should, you are opening yourself up to the whole world and the sad truth is, just like Joe on the programme, there are people out there that will misinterpret you and may use your information.
Keep safe on social media. Think before you speak and type! As you could be one click away from an obsession.
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