Attack of the trolls - social media and the narcissism

picture from children of the 90s

I have made some lovely insta-friends from all over the world and who I often chat too. Last night I was talking to my friend Ruth, a Scottish blogger living in Turkey with her family about the growing amount of trolling, bullying and arguments that are becoming common in the world of social media.

This is not a new thing by all means but as someone who is pretty new to the whole being present on the web, I have only really just started to realise how bad it is because it’s happening to my insta-friends, it’s happened to me.

The rule if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all doesn’t seem to matter when you are hiding behind a keyboard, just like road rage behind the wheel of a car. Confrontation is much easier if you have something between you, disappearing as fast as you appeared.

If it doesn’t involve me, I don’t tend to get involved as I have been badly burned when I have been asked to put my 2p in. The repercussions of it all were too much for my anxiety to take, so maybe not right but right for me, I walk away.

I can’t do that anymore, I have build Mumforce on the basis’s that I am honest about my life, my blog and my views and I can’t see another one of my new friends breaking down in tears because some bored, unfulfilled, jealous keyboard bitch that has seen nothing better in their life than to try and ruin someone else’s.

In a world where social media is more powerful than TV, where a housewife from Essex can break the internet with her cleaning routine, where people would rather sit on their phone than have a conversation it comes no surprise that we have moved far away from what reality is. We are living in an increasingly narcissist culture.

Social media makes us want to look important, that we are having fun, that we have an “insta-perfect” life. We do this because it gives us a good feeling and boosts our self esteem, as we watch the” likes” crawl in we get some validation from others that we are fantastic,liked. It can be addictive and with any addiction the highs are high and the lows are low.

The trouble with social media is that nearly everyone presents an unrealistic portrait of themselves. You pick the best looking picture, the highlights of your day and the sometime unrealistic pictures of life. This is not always the case, but I feel these pictures can cause a negative effect to the people who see them. It makes them feel bad about themselves, they think other’s lives are better than theirs and I believe this leads to the trolling and bulling we are seeing constantly online.

Social media is like a playgroup for these trolling narcissists, it gives them easy access to billions of people who they can victimise; they are attention seeking with a desire to create drama to make themselves feel good. They what to know everything about you so they can use it against you at a later date, to call you out, to hurt you. It’s possible for random’s to learn your life story, to know every inch of your life and in some cases your vulnerabilities too.

These people hiding behind keyboards have no self awareness in what they are doing or any empathy. They are the starters of arguments, the ones who attack others with character assassination instead of a realistic view of the situation.

They are the leaders who try to attack the competition rather than focusing on their own moral rights, misogynistic trolls are an example of how malignant narcissism can grow in social media platforms; they are cruel, they are callous and they are violent in their threats and insults. They take sick pleasure in upsetting others and provoking dramas.

All social media platforms are people competing against each other for followers, likes, retweets, saves, it’s a show of approval with no real goal but if someone is popular and liked, the haters will be right there ready to make sure that person gets a nice shit hit of reality.

I doubt that anyone would be able to explain why they do it but it’s likely an impulsive reaction: learning that trolling gets them validation, which feels good, so they continue to troll. Every drama and argument giving their brain a small rush of dopamine the same as a tiny hit of coke.

Haters are always going to hate, they will never go away. The only thing I can advise is to block the bastards, report them, delete them out your life and carry on doing what you do, just like you would if it happened face to face.

Aren’t nobody got time for that!

#mentalhealth #parenting #mum #tag