Can You Bully-Proof Your Children?

laughing boy

This guest post is from Simon Benn - the world's first children's happiness coach. He was badly bullied as a child and now helps parents learn how to stop their children being bullied based on what he's learned helping 1600 kids be happy.

Can You Bully-Proof Your Children?

I’ve written a lot of guest blog posts, articles, letters and tips in the last months. Bloggers and editors often want tips, how to’s and actions.

I’m just the same. I want to know how to help more parents help more children be happy. How to stop the bullying happening. And since we can never control what others do, how to stop the bullying hurting.


Did you read that correctly?


How to stop bullying HURTING?

I call what I do bully-proofing for a reason.

One of the bloggers didn’t want me to use the word bully-proof in my guest blog.

Because she doesn’t think that’s possible. It is. I can tell you that categorically.

Child after child and teen after teen has told me that.

So how do you do that?

We only become bully-proof when we see for ourselves that no-one outside us can make us feel anything.

When I ask kids where feelings come from they say their heart or their head.

When I ask adults where feelings come from they say events, circumstances or the past.

When I ask the receptionist at the swimming pool how she is, she responds by saying as good as the weather.

Have you been happy on a sunny day?

Have you been sad on a sunny day?

Have you been happy on a rainy day?

Have you been sad on a rainy day?

Of course.

The truth is constant. It’s always true. That's why we call the truth. 

So if the weather caused our mood we’d always be happy in the sun and upset in the rain.

If that’s too complicated try this.

Do happy memories make you feel happy?

Do sad memories make you feel sad?

Do you get worried before something (like flying or making a speech) before you’re actually doing it?


Feelings only ever come from our thoughts.

Adults argue with me about this. And get upset by others.

Kids see the truth in it and then it’s a short hop to being bully-proof. They don’t get upset by others.

They get this ‘in their bones’ and when they see it that deeply they get it for good.

I get it of course but sometimes I lose sight of it. Then I spot it. Then the traffic, weather or call centre dialling system no longer annoys me.

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