I am enough and the things I need to remind myself of daily

Today is Monday and I have started feeling a little down again lately, I have let the small stuff bother me without looking at the bigger picture, and it sucks.

Why is it that when we hit those low points, we look at the small details of all the things we don’t have instead of seeing all the good in our life?

I write this because I was moaning to a group of my online blogger friends saying how deflating Instagram is at the moment and how I am not seeing the engagement I want, when someone who was being so kind and understanding said she would be back later as she had to go to a child’s funeral. Well, that put things in to perspective!

Here I am, moaning and worrying about these stupid little squares making me feel inadequate and when there is so much more wrong in this world than some people I have never met liking my pictures. What a dick of me, eh?

My life is good, my life has also BEEN good. My mental health issues aren’t the result of a bad childhood, in fact I got everything I wanted as a child. I was loved, clothed, fed and laughed a lot but somehow the cards I was dealt have anxiety in them. I can’t explain it and after years of therapy and trying to figure it all out I don’t think I will ever get an answer.

I grew up in a safe place, I was protected. I didn’t have to risk my life with my family, using all our money to hide in the back of a truck to be smuggled into another country just so I could live a better life. I had the life these people dreamt off as they set off from the war-torn towns. I haven’t had to run away from anything. I had all I needed and more.

My parent love me, they always have. Despite my silly decisions and upsets I may have caused them they haven’t left my side. I’m 33 and I still need that support, and they are more or less happy to give it to me. That’s what parents do isn’t it? And one day, I will be there when they need me. A fact I think many forget as their parents grow, remember they stayed awake all night when you were sick, taught you to clean yourself and fed you. One day they may need all those done for them.

I am enough, this is something everyone must tell them all the time. I must see that all I ever need to overcome these thoughts and to live, lies right inside of me, I don’t need to go and seek validations from social media or anywhere else, all I need to do is look inside of me. Look how far I have come, everything I have been through and here I am, still standing, still fighting every day. That is my motivation, it helps me summon all my strength and I repeat…I am enough.

There is no one else like me, I am unique. One of a kind and no one can replace me and I can’t take anyone else’s place. The world today has so many impersonators, so many waking up and putting on a show for someone else. Social media can make even the shittiest situations look good with a filter, we see smiling faces, fancy cars and amazing holidays. These material things do not bring happiness and satisfaction, you can have all the money and travel in the world but be lonely, sad and depressed. We all have our own unique skills and the world needs every one of them. The world needs you, how ever small. Embrace your craziness, your weird, its your unique selling point.

I have standards, and so should you. Its important to tell yourself not to settle. This is truth and until you realise that it will never become reality. This is my life; my journey and I control my destiny. I will not settle for second best when I know I deserve so much more.

I can do this, trying is always worth it. If it doesn’t work out, I can move on because I tried. I can try again when I’m ready. It is one thing to try and it is another to remain dedicated, to remain committed against all odds.

I have been blessed, I have let the madness of life to blind me from ow blessed I actually am. I have my health, a home, food, family, friends and I have so much I have to be thankful for, sometimes we have to see the little things we over look. Remember, there will be someone out there wishes they had what you did.

I have bad days, I’m human. The good times and bad times are part of life – some days full of joy, achievement and highs and then some days it’s nothing, just nothing. I have figured out though its my attitude during these times that’s most important thing. I have the choice to allow myself to be consumed or fight. What do I chose to see, the positive or the negative? I am so completely accepting of the times when I need to be down, sometimes it’s the only way for me to move forward it to allow the feeling to overwhelm me.

I have learnt that I can be apologetically me, no one can be me. We have those people we look up too be we will never BE them, just like no one will be like me. True glory comes when you can just be yourself…you don’t have to do what “what’s their face” are doing or buy what Mrs. So-and-So is buying just to follow the crowd. They might not tell you this, but they will respect you. Remember, you are always being watched.

I have tried to stop comparing myself to others, its tough though. We compare our lives, our experiences, our things. The truth is no one has it good all of the time. Something I have to remind myself of daily while I scroll through the endless social feed. Everyone is just doing their own thing, so you just do you.

So today as I feel down, I remind myself that this feeling is only temporary. Its is going to be OK. Everything has a start and an ending, its going to be OK.