Is Sisterhood real?

If I asked you what sisterhood was and if it had a positive or negative impact on your life, what would you say?

The reason I ask is because I’m not completely convinced that the “women supporting women” message is real or just a great publicity stunt. The idea of sisterhood is pretty simple, that we all have the same ideas, views and plans but that's not right is it? Not really? And as sad as it is for me to say this, as women, if they don’t agree they can turn into massive bitches. Sisterhood is the idea that all women suffer from the same misfortunes and will come together and form a friendship for life based on that wrongdoing. It means not fighting against that harassment but instead blocking it out and letting ‘the sister tribe’ make it alright together.

The thing is, I am finding the women who talk the most about sisterhood are the least trustworthy of all- now I know I'm sounding like a right bitch but try and stay with me, I do have a point.

When women speak of/or represent women empowerment, that means women boost other women, they support female fellowship, that we pave the way for other women to succeed and they no questions, support women, altogether, though I have experienced some fantastic examples of this, I have also unfortunately experienced these girls hating on girls and bullying due to jealousy, judgement and misunderstanding.

I have found that in the past the ladies that are preaching about women empowerment and women supporting women are not always the best pro filer's for the campaign. As someone who has been in the social media public eye, I have seen time and time again bloggers being “stabbed in the back” by other bloggers as they try desperately to climb their way to the top. Due to the pressure of being supportive, I still see them charmingly commenting on each other’s posts despite the obvious hating/rivalry.

Using women empowerment as a way to get people to support you, and then acting the opposite of what it means to empower women is fake, you cannot talk about uplifting women and then not show it in your everyday life. Women is supporting women, downgrading another woman and kicking them while they are down, while you preach about women coming together, is fake empowerment. We are seeing this more and more - people jumping on the bandwagon without really understanding what it means.

I have often been left feeling like the “sisterhood” is a club I’m not welcome in and nothing makes me more anxious than a blogging event, normally a room full of women that I have been invited to and more often than not I am the lady in the corner being ignored, so in the end I just don’t go to them. I find these places are more prone to “gossip”.

I find myself being completely intimidated by the whole thing, as its normally the loud, gobby women being the key speakers of the movement but in my experience, these are also the woman that are the ones casting a judgemental eye over the rest of us and I’m often left not listening to them and focusing on the negative, feeling paranoid and judged…also not very sisterly.

I respect the idea that we are all fighting for equality but I also respect that we are all different and its natural that we don't all get on - I really do think we can be cheerleaders for each other without being friends, its the judgemental aspect that women seem to have planted deep in their DNA that I have a problem with.

Are woman naturally bitchy though? My experience with pre-school children has had me wondering this for years, as I have seen the groups of young girls excluding, bullying and being down right nasty to the other girls that don’t think or do like them. Did they learn it or is it in our basic programming to attack those who are not the same as us?

Ensuring we have a positive depiction of sisterhood is hugely important, since we are always going to be faced with the battles of being a woman and feeling always having to fight our clause.

It’s important to lift up other women whose voices aren’t being heard, encourage younger women coming up behind you, and to support the sisterhood as a whole.

I don’t think sisterhood automatically means you must like all women!

Women are simply competitive in a way that’s less obvious—they’re competitive about connection. Among women, we base our friendships on how close we are. ("Shes my best friend...No, shes mine...")

When I became an adult my circle of friend shrunk, and it did so again once I had my children. I have been left with very few close friends and I am happy to have quality over quantity at this stage in my life. I have found the friends I do have understand where I am, can help me, support me when I need answers and except me for the crazy, anxious mess that I am without any judgement. Its taken years of wondering if I needed more friends in my life to realise this, in my 30s I had all I already needed.

I have let go of toxic relationships and not pursued new ones because they have not been the right woman for me, they don’t enhance my friendships and offer me anything I actually need or want in a relationship. It doesn’t make them bad people just not “my people”.

One of the hardest things I have learnt about these women who I call my sisters, is that I can be vulnerable. That they will listen to my irrational thoughts, support me while I cry into their shoulder and not only tell me everything is going to be alright, but I believe them.

Maybe I can get behind, woman supporting woman after all we are all fighting for the same cause, but I am happy to cheer them on from the side, my victories are their victories and vice versa. They may never be my friends and I’m ok with that.

I have a wonderful little friend family and they have done more for me than anyone ever has.