Lost for words
I have started it again.
I really didn’t think I would relapse
I didn’t even notice at first and now it’s spiralling
My name is MumForce and I compare my children to others.
I know, I know. All children are different, we should treat them as individuals and they will all reach their mile stones in their own time.
This is true; I know this for a fact and 7 years of working in a nursery with pre-school children set me up for it.
I just can’t ignore the nagging in my head that my child isn’t doing as well as the others.
This started with a trip to the nursery to talk with my daughter’s teacher to see how she has been settling in. It wasn’t really needed but I wanted to hear someone else talk about how wonderful my child was...
Sure enough she is doing well, confident and happy but...then it came...her speech is a real cause for concern. There!
I noticed when my daughter was around two that she wasn’t easy to understand. Man, she could talk but we just didn’t know what she was saying.
The other children we had frequent play dates had the usually words “mum” “dad” “ta” “bye” and they were perfectly clear. I made my excuses.
Words did come, I knew they would but it became clear only I was really able to understand her. She had created her own language that unknown to me I was fluent in. I did what you are “supposed” to do and repeated back to her everything in the correct way. I found myself translating her babble to my husband, her granny and my friends, trying hard not to think about it and hid any concerns.
CC wanted weaned at 4 ½ months, crawled at 9 months, walking by 11 months she was reaching every other mark before most so I brushed off my family’s concerns. She would get there in her own time.
CC is now 3; her speech is rushed and muddled. Sometimes whole sentences don’t make any sense and other times they come out so clearly and spoken so maturely it pleasantly surprises me.
I can’t have real conversations with her – she rarely answers and when she does it’s a hit or a miss if I get a clear reply. It’s almost like she is trying to say a tongue twister.
A speech therapist has asked to see her at the nursery and it has me a little shook.
I might add that my little sister didn’t speak till she was in school she had her own wee language that only I could understand (sound familiar?)
I remind myself all children reach mile stones at different points, they are guild lines not hard set in stone rules. My child is happy and healthy and visits to a speech therapist are very common and it doesn’t make my child “different”
Back to my thought of comparing children, each and every person, children and adults alike have their own personal little quips. It makes us who we are and we would be very boring if we were all the same. If it’s a speech thing my daughter has I know she will rock the shit out of it and make it her own.
Now my son – he’s not crawling but his younger friend is. He loves to just sit and watch the world; he’s a thinker not a doer like his sister was. This is not a real worry for me. He’s my last child, my last baby. I will never have the teeny tiny feather weight of a newborn on my chest. I am happy to keep him little for a little bit longer anyway, he isn’t moving around trashing my house just yet and that is the stage I find most exhausting. He can sit there a bit longer – learning to clap his hands, sending me smiles of pride when he does.
He shows me to take my time, don’t wish his life away with goals and milestones, and see the world through his eyes - Peppa pig is bloody brilliant (she’s not), I will struggle to catch up with him one day (run, Cassi run) and one day he might not even want to be in the same room as me (sob).
If I have to carry him around a little longer I will breathe in every hair pull and slobby chin sucks thank you very much.
My baby boy!
I just talked myself out of over thinking this one, think this blog thingy is working for me
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