My Son Makes Himself Sick

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you will know I have health anxiety and the fear has been very real.

I get intrusive thoughts that if my children get sick that it will be so bad that they end up in hospital or die, I know this sounds extreme but its very real and very scary.

I have been very lucky though, that my children have not been ill that often and even luckier that its been nothing serious. It’s a battle though in my mind that its because of all the obsessive behaviours I have created to protect them or the fact my children are just very good at fighting them off – I think we all know which one it is but still I can’t stop.

Cora is aware of my eversion of all things sick and illness and has been known to “punish” me when she didnt get her own way but making herself sick! Its something she has grown out of, thank god but around the age she started doing that was around the time I started freaking out as I had no clue how to handle it. I really thought something was wrong and I was a first time, anxious mess of a mum!

Well, lets fast forward to this week and its been a week of sickness for both my children. First Cora and then Cassi, Cassi being the worst as he’s still so young its hard for him to understand what’s going on and to tell him where to be sick. I guess it wasn’t too bad, just his bed, his bedroom floor, himself…oh, and the living room carpet.

I believe I handed it very well, if I am honest with myself though I was close to the edge one of the days and had to get daddy back from work earlier than he was suppose too for some support. The house was a mess and smelt like vomit and that can be a massive “germ” trigger for me, but I coped…just.

I believe the last week has been some kind of aversion therapy, aversion therapy is a form of psychological treatment in which the patient is exposed to a stimulus while simultaneously being subjected to some form of discomfort. So, this week, I was exposed to sick and it wasn’t as bad as I had built in my mind, it wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad.

As the children got better, Cassi started to notice that mama (me) came running when he cried or was sick and he discovered the super fun act of – making himself sick! F@@k!

Just like his sister, he had cottoned on to the fact that mummy jumped when he made a scene.

The first time it happened was at bedtime, Cassi has always been fantastic at self-soothing and has slept so well since he was only 7 weeks old, but that night was having none of it. We did our normal bedtime routine and I tucked him in, said goodnight and left the room. He normally very happy to chat to himself then fall asleep. He started to call “up, up” which is what he calls in the morning when he wakes and went I went through to comfort him and tell him it was sleep time he started crying. As I knew he had been poorly I stayed with him and stroked his head hoping this would sooth him but after 20 minutes he seemed to be sleeping and I ninja crawled out the room and he started again. I went straight back in and said “honey, its sleep time.” And then I saw him look me dead in the eye, and put his fingers down the back of his throat and…””BLEGHHHHHHHH!”

My first response was to grab anything that would catch it, this time being one of his blankets. The sick wasn’t much as he hadn’t been able to give himself a proper gag, but it was enough for him to know, that this got a reaction. I know needed to get him up, washed and change the bed. It's just another way, instead of a child hitting or having a temper tantrum, they get their way through vomiting.

I am told this is normal, from my many searches on the internet. It’s a way that my child can control the situation in the only way he knows how, by either having a meltdown or in this case, gagging till he’s sick. Le sigh!

He did it again the next night and this time, I was calmer and did thinks a little differently. When he was sick I caught it in a towel which left minimal vomit spreadage, I placed him on the bedroom floor wiped his face and put him straight back in the bed. He wasn’t happy about this, but I needed to show him that being sick didn’t mean he got what he wanted and that for him, was staying up.

Let's face it, he is only two years old, he's not going to understand when you explain why what he's doing is wrong, but my actions can help him understand.

The next night he tried again but again, mama didn’t bite, and he started to realise – I meant business!

I’m sure this little trick will appear again in the future and I feel ready and better prepared. As parents, it's quite a scary situation to see your kid vomiting, especially if they're choking and vomiting. It certainly has us feel quite nervous especially when taking babies from weaning to foods, because sometimes they start to gag, but the reality is that it's all psychological.