Social media & parenting: The world has changed, so have the rules

If you didn’t already know, I am one third of the BBC Scotlands Bad Mum Club. This is a monthly spot I have On BBC Radio Scotland (first Friday of every month,11am) with two other lovely mothers, JoJo Sutherland and Nell frizzi. (shameless plug)

On Friday the 7th June, I headed to The Tun for my first studio recording. Before I have always just done any work with them over the phone in the comfort of my own wee home, so this was exciting. I arrived early (as always) and was greeted by the lovely receptionist and about 20 mintues later in came Jojo. Nell lives away from any of the studios so she would coming in via phone.

Jojo knew what she was doing, she had done this enough times before so not to feel as nervous as me and this was also the first time I was meeting her too, face to face but I am glad to say she was lovely and as time went on I could feel myself relaxing in her company.

As we sat in our little booth, we were counted in and the familiar theme played and we were on!

We discussed the use of Calpol, cartoons being used to manipulate children to buying junk food and posting children’s life on social media as a “prop”.

Though this does apply to everyone, I felt that as I am a parenting blogger that this was going to be a loaded question.

I began posting photos of my daughter minutes after she was born, I wanted to update my family and friends about her wonderful arrival and to let everyone know in one go that we were doing good. I’d share images of myself breastfeeding; windy smiles and how much I was winning at being a mum - this was my new life and I was sharing it with anyone who wanted to see it.

It wasn’t until after my son was born and I started blogging that I started posting pictures of them daily. I shared breakfast, play times, outfit changes and every detail in the hopes that people would see and follow us. I would post funny pictures for likes and comments not even thinking about how my children would feel about it, after all they belonged to me surely?

The world of mummy bloggers or Instamums has been a very fast growing trend in recent years, hell I have even jumped on the bandwagon!

Many get involved hoping for the Instafame of Motherpukka, Motherofdaughters and the Unmumsy Mum, thinking that it’s as easy as posting lots of pictures and hoping for the money to roll in. It isn’t like that. Maybe it was at the beginning but you just must search the tag #mummyblogger and millions of posts appear. It’s become so saturated that the pull of getting the most likes can lead to some very questionable photos being posted, maybe ones that in years’ time your children will not want on the internet for anybody to see.

In a trend to appear “real”, some mums on social media are using their kids to gain attention. Family posed shots aren’t getting the likes they once did, many posting pictures that may invade their privacy. One of the questions was, should we be asking our children for consent before posting online.

This is not me mum shaming—it’s about not seeing that something is important in the first instant but if we really look it has rolling consequences for you and your child, what you’re teaching, and the society in which they live. That their privacy doesn’t matter.

Social media desensitised us all—parents, young children, creatives in the digital world—and we hope the next picture of our babies "poo face" will get lots of likes and perhaps go viral.

It desensitised us to the rights of our children and this can start some real big problems: These pictures can be used for sexual staging, pornography, and sex trafficking. Scary right? The problem is growing aggressively because of fast growth of social media. A person I know used images he found online, photo shopped, manipulated them and shared them around a ring of sick individuals, this man is now in jail for those crimes. When it happened, so close to home, it really opened my eyes.

We must remember that social media is pretty new, it’s hard to say exactly how growing up online will affect children in later years, there are concerns around infringing privacy, safety and security (for example providing information that could be used by somebody to steal your child’s identity), and leaving our children open to bullying and hate. Your favourite picture of your child sitting on the potty for the first time may not be their favourite picture of themselves when they’re 13, could it affect how they grow? Are we unknowingly giving our children an open door to therapy?

CC starts school after the summer and I have made the decision not to include her face in photos. I am protecting her from potential bullies that may find some reason to pick on her, I already restrict the number of pictures I post of her (no nude or partial clothed at all) and I will not disclose her school uniform or personal details, It’s my job to protect her from the world and social media is part of the world we now live in. When or I f she wants to be a part of it (I’m sure she will) I help can her on how best she can use it To keep herself safe But even I am unclear on social media, perhaps it will have changed again by the time she reaches that decision.

This world is forever changing and there are always new information and ideas to think about. Parents know their children though and if they do chose to post pictures they shouldn’t be scolded for it, we live in on the internet now.

Maybe just pause before you hit the share button.