Thank you, but I didnt ask for that advice - think before you start dishing out the parenting advice

It’s been reported recently that new mum, the Duchess of Sussex aka Megan has a long list of do’s and don’ts when it comes to her new little bundle of joy, Archie. People seem outraged, but I say leave the bloody lady alone, think about it. When you were a new mum, did you not set a bunch of unrealistic rules that you were sure you were going to stick too? I know I did.

When we become pregnant for the first time, we think about all the things we are going to do and not do so we become the perfect parent and don’t have to ship the kids off to therapy when they are older because we have messed them up. I always said !no, dummies!” yet, here I am trying to praise the cold rubber teat from my 2 and a half year old sons mouth!

Look at breastfeeding, its drummed into us that “breast is best”. We swear we will breastfeed exclusively for at least a year, it’s the most natural thing in the world to do and you have no idea what all these women are complaining about. It can’t be that hard, right? Wrong!

Breastfeeding is bloody hard, no-one tells you that every time that little limpet latches on it will feel like you’ve just had a massive bolt of lightning shooting through your nipples, you have no idea how much they are having and those lovely ideas of feeding while staring out the window dreamily end up being long, sweaty, uncomfortable 2 hour long milking session on the couch, only realising that you have left you phone in the other room and the TV control on the other side of the room…SH*T!

I fed CC myself until she weaned herself off at around 6 months, she wasn’t bothered about my boobies and wanted the real stuff, she was grabbing for the steaks at around 5 months. She was desperate for the solids.

Cassi just didn’t happen, I tried and after 3 days of pain and endless help from the midwives they took one look at my blackened nipples and handed me a bottle. The boy had literally sucked the life out of my nips and there was no going back because he was hungry, and my tits had shut up shop.

We get shamed by some for bottle feeding, shamed for breastfeeding in public by lots blah blah blah, just another thing that us mums cannot win. There never seems to be a right answer but so many wrong ones.

I really do thing parents get it the worse, the over analysing I mean, that as soon as you produce your own little angelic versions of yourself it’s like the judging flood gates well and truly open and everyone has a say on how you bring up YOUR children. The “you can’t do that” brigade and the “mummy shammers” a like join forces and suddenly everyone is a parenting expert. Sure, we all need a little help and advice from time to time but I’m pretty sure the Duchess isn’t asking the whole world how she should bring up little Archie, that’s hers and her husband’s choice, and probably the Queen?

The unasked for advice starts even before sperm has met egg, if your trying to conceive you are inundated with advice: stop drinking, take vitamins and have sex every other day (because the internet told you that this was the best way) and then after you make the announcement that the stork is coming in 9 months all the unasked for advice from relatives, friend and even strangers starts rolling in. Some of it can be helpful but the majority can seem utterly odd or border on patronising. The suggestions can also tend to turn into harsh moral judgements on you in a blink (mum guilt before the baby has even started crowning), before you know it your more confused than a baby in a topless bar.

OK, so not all the advice you are given is unwanted. There are those "praise CHEEZUS!" moment as a new parent when something you are told actually works and/or is useful. For me this was nipple cream, I swear that stuff stopped me ripping my nipples off in the first few weeks of breastfeeding.

I got endless tips though, how to hold my baby, how to wind them, how to place them during feed and though I took a lot on board, I soon figured it out for myself.

I found the constant string of advice overwhelming. I felt like I knew nothing and with that, it made me think I was useless as a mother. How could I be doing a good job if so many people are telling me I'm doing it wrong and should try it this way instead. It was so conflicting and would often end up trying to conceal red hot tears of embarrassment and failure.

Babies bring out everyone's compassionate side though, as annoying as it is, most of the advice is well meaning. Others may see you struggling or remember their struggles with certain parenting issues, and they feel it is their duty to help you out, but even most well-meaning advice can come off as critical and irritating.

After a while, I got the hang of knowing what advice to listen to, what to politely ignore, and I do really understand it’s all a little advice to make my life easier, but I also know that it can really deflate me in those really tough moments.

After two children though a funny thing happened: I become a parenting expert (JOKES, I still have no idea what I’m doing). And I'm sure just like me, when your little sister or best friend has a baby, you'll know exactly what to tell her.

Just watch out for the glazed over eyes, that's when you know to stop talking