The Great Dummy Debate

My son loves his dummy, so much so that now he wants it all the time and I hate it!

I hate seeing him with the thing hanging out his mouth, I hate hearing him trying to talk when the bloody thing is in his mouth, but I also love it because he sleeps so much better with it in his mouth.

Let’s go back a few years, to my darling little daughter who cried, oh how she would cry!

Day and night, she cried, she never slept and was only truly quiet when she was being fed. Often just using my nipples as a comforter. We were desperate first-time parents, losing the battle. Something so small was bringing us to tears daily.

We had aid while I was pregnant that we would be those parents who never used a dummy as I just hated seeing children with them in but after weeks of no sleep we reached for the dummy and gave it to Cora. She only bloody rejected it, didn’t she!

Nope, she would not take it. I bought every teat available even buying the special ones they have in America that are shaped like nipples but no, she wasn’t having any of it.

A long came Cassi, and as we failed with breastfeeding this time and he was on a bottle, we didn’t wait to introduce a dummy to him. We wanted him to have one because we didn’t want to go through the same pain we did with Cora (some would call this lazy) and this time he took it. With Cassi now using a dummy instead of always comfort feeding like I did with Cora, allowed us more freedom as new parents of two and stopped us offering food as comfort when he cried.

From 7 weeks, he slept through the night. If he woke a little feed or popping his dummy back in would quickly send him back to the land of nod. We felt like Olympic gold parents, our baby slept!!

Fast forward 2 years and he is obsessed with the bleedin’ thing! And because we have never had to do the whole withdrawal thing before, I am completely stumped on what I should do. My mother said she threw mine in the fire when I was 2 and said “oops” and that was the end of it, but I clearly remember finding a dummy under the couch after the fire throwing event and sneaking there whenever I had a chance for a little suck…until one day it was gone, and I was devastated!

Now if Cassi only used the dummy for sleep times then I wouldn't mind so much but he’s not, he always has it in his mouth, pretty much all the time unless I can distract him but after only a small time without it he’s crying for his “doody” and I am too weak to fight it. It brings him such comfort, I don’t want to be bad mummy! Oh the guilt!!

Cora got her bed time feeds till she was 3 and a half and when I said no more, she was old enough to understand even though she was very sad , she excepted it and was the right time for her. Cassi still seems to wee to me and I am reluctant to upset the harmony the dummy brings us all, but I am seeing some major down sides to having the dummy and it’s his teeth!

I am noticing incorrect positioning of his teeth – the upper teeth are being pushed forward more than normal, and the top and bottom front teeth do not touch like they should. This changes the way the teeth meet when he bites, I'm afraid it may affect speech his development, especially s and z sounds.

I believe the end is nigh though, its time for my little boy to grow up. I want to hear his sweet voice without the dummy hiding it and I don’t want his beautiful teeth to have years of problems all because I couldn’t play the bad mum by taking the dummy away.

I’m not quite ready, but it’s coming, and any hints, tip and advice will be much appreciated…oh and send prayers, good vibes and wine, lots of wine!!!