The Judgey Mum

Something was brought to my attention and it was something I never thought that I was...My name is MumForce and I am (unknowingly) a judgey mum.

I am not a mean person, ask anyone I know. I would not ay boo to a goose and I hate confrontation. I am shy and quiet when around people I don’t know but more comfortable around people I know well.

I have anxiety, so in social situations I can cower in the back and have been known not to interact with others. I thought I knew when someone didn’t want to talk or “make friends” with me but after the other night I think I was judging them for thinking they were judging me!

If you think about it, if you saw a bitchy faced mum with her arms crossed in the corner of the room trying hard not to interact with anyone I wouldn’t feel like she was very “approachable” THAT IS ME! I am the girl in the corner!

My own anxieties have caused me to judge people because I think they are judging me! To be straight I wasn’t judging them on looks, clothes, baby blah blah. You could wear a sack and I would still be friends with you but I will be clear when I say judging me, I mean they wouldn’t see me as there “type” but as I was called out on this (rightly so) it clicked, why wouldn’t they want to be friends? I am a lovely person.

The person who is the hardest on us is our self and I think I need to open my eyes and see that the bad person is not them but the sad little voice of anxiety telling me “they think you are a bad mum”

They don’t think you are a bad mum, they don’t know you. You think you are a bad mum (you’re not by the way, stop being so hard on yourself). It’s all the little things that you are hard on about yourself, you’re afraid that others will see them too.

As I lay in bed, anxiously going over the conversation over and over I was thinking how did I not see that it was me making it hard to relax into social situations and not other people. I was scared they would judge me, look down on me when I know for a fact I deserve friendship, love and respect just as much as the next gal.

Now is the time for me to take action.

Remember that video that went viral a few years go, the one that had all the different varieties of mums. They were all judging each others mum choices until the pram rolled away and they all chased it. That's it though none of that bloody matters, just that the baby is alive and well.

Dont get me wrong, there are some nasty people out there but how are you going to know that they are if you don’t talk to them.

The type of shoes they wear, lifestyle choices and mum morals doesn’t stop them from being lovely people who you can enjoy a chat and a cuppa with during playgroup. Chances are you are both having the same problems – those kids! Hey and some people just don't get on, that's just life.

How am I only realising this!

I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I, myself have been held back from talking people because I was judging them.

I am going to try and move forward from this with a new set of eyes and try and build my confidence as the more I have thought about it and writing it down its bloody insane that I was thinking this way.

Lets do this people - the sisterhood of motherhood! We are all in it together.

We may have different rules and choices for our children but one goal is sure the same.....to keep the god dam baby alive.