May 15, 20184 min read

The Mental Health Mum

Its Mental Health awareness week and as a blogger and a mum I have been overwhelmed with the amount of people getting out and sharing there thoughts and experiences.

The modern world has sent our mental health into over drive, we are over stimulated daily and exposed to unreal expectations of ourselves through social media and the rest. Advice is dished out when not asked for often leaving the listeners worried they aren’t enough or that they are different.

Its OK to not be OK, there are different levels of mental health and at times it will feel like you are the only one in the world suffering. That the pain, worry, panic you are feeling should be kept inside so not to ‘bother’ others. This is what this week is all about, its time to open up and talk, you will feel better. You can get better. Life can be better.

I have suffered in silence, I have kept it all in till I explode in a cloud of tears and pain. The cycle of self-hating and anxiety stemmed from teenage bullying, grief and lose of a loved one. I didn’t know what the hell was going on, I was shy and awkward so I assumed I was the one to blame…starting to sound familiar?

I started this blog as a journey to find my adulthood, to become the person I want to be in my grown up years. More confidant and self-assured, I want to be happy with who I am and even in these few months of self discovery I am getting close.

I am more aware of my feeling and how they affect me; my triggers and trying to work past them or just avoid them.

On Saturday I attended the first Book Club Social and I had mentioned about how anxious I was and I was not the only one. We were all anxious about meeting each other.

The next day as the hangover kicked in, so did the fear. I was worried how I came across and after catching up with some of the other girl who came, we had all the same feeling.

Why did we all feel this way, it really got me thinking.

Before children I didn’t care how I came across, it was just me wasn’t it. My actions were a reflection of me and that was it. Now I am a mum, my actions reflect people’s view of me and now my children.

Us mums are often shamed because the idea that we have a life outside our children is deemed crazy!

Just look at the way media attacks mums for being out and not at home with the kids...sorry we have a life and we don't want to be "just mums." Holly Wiloughby was called out for going to a concert. How can going to a gig now make it ok for people to say your a bad mum....Oh please

Caring more is a fantastic from a family point of view but not so much in a social situation (thanks Karen)

I realised after this evening that alcohol may make me more sociable in the short term, the next day my anxiety is so much that I can be frozen in thought for hours, going over and over situations that don’t exist.

This is one of the triggers I want to leave behind, alcohol. I don’t drink everyday, sometimes I go weeks, and months with no alcohol but the one off blowouts are now not worth the days of anxiety I suffer after. I have finally learned. I also come from a long line of non-drinkers so maybe its just not for me.

I may have mental health issues for the rest of my life but I will keep fighting for peace and happiness in my own mind. I can be happy, I will be happy, I am happy!

Don’t suffer in silence. There is always someone who will listen…find your happiness, you really are worth it.

Useful Contacts

Big White Wall

bigwhitewall.com

Online community for adults experiencing emotional or psychological distress. It is free to use in many areas if you live in the UK, if you're a student or if you have a referral from your GP.

Cruse Bereavement Care

0844 477 9400

cruse.org.uk

Charity providing information and support after someone you know has died.

Depression UK

depressionuk.org

A self-help organisation made up of individuals and local groups.

Do-it

do-it.org

UK volunteering opportunities, including environment and conservation options.

Elefriends

elefriends.org.uk