The Truth Mum
After watching a great live Insta-story featuring OrganicallyEpic and Weeslice, it was a fab wee chat and we got to learn more about the lovely WeeSlice (shes a bloody legend, BTW)
Weeslice mentioned that she just wasn’t the type of person who could mother 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This truth may be hard for some to swallow but for me this was the medicine, the nail on the head, this is why I have been struggling with the guilt of not always loving being a mum. I just can’t be a mother all the time; I have to have time to be me.
Sadly its taken 4 years and someone brave enough to say it for me to realise it, I love being a mum, I’m a bloody good mum but thank god it’s not just me – I don’t just want to be a mum!!
Anyone who knew me before children would have known me as someone who was very busy. I was always trying to learn something new, enhance my skills, reading, going on courses. If I wasn’t doing that I was reading books or exploring. Ah....the good old days!
With two young children I don’t have much time for myself like I did before, I expected it. I am not daft thinking my life wouldn’t change and I was ready for it. What I wasn’t ready for was the fact I couldn’t have ANY me time most days, weeks or sadly, months.
My family live in the west coast, I am in the east...this makes having a family member on call for babysitting and generally helping out doesn’t happen. I do have my MIL but she has a boyfriend that has her travelling the world at the drop of a hat. (How selfish?! Am just jel) so I rarely have a child free moments, let alone a child free day or night! Don’t get me started on the last time my husband and I actually had any child free time. He also works long ass hours which turn me into a single mother most days; it’s exhausting and no respite.
Yes I know many will say why have kids? This isn’t me complaining about the kids because I love the smelly little snot bags but can’t I just have some time to be me or enjoy some silence or go to the toilet with the door closed...not really a big ask, I don’t think.
Its hard work being in a role and getting no respite from it, imagine you never got a break from work and your work was someone repeating “mummy” in your ear over and over, the staff toilets were often invaded by the other employees and the clean up was relentless with bad pay and no acknowledgement. Yes, sometimes the rewards are amazing but they can be close and far between.
Being a mum isn’t a job though, it’s a lifestyle. A lifestyle that has lived up to expectations and thrown me a few surprises too. I wouldn’t change the children one bit but I would change the time I have without them. As they get older this will become easier, and I’m sure I will miss the little toe rags running me ragged and their dependence on me but for now I can day dream about the quite five minutes I get playing a game of hide and seek hiding in the cupboard...thank god my children are still young and completely shit at finding me.
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