Why does everyone seem Pregnant?

Why is it that as soon as one person falls pregnant, 100 others seem to follow? It’s never just one person you know that falls pregnant but it’s a “who’s next” kind of phenomena. The old joke that “there must be something in the water.”

I can’t seem to go on any social platforms at the moment without pictures of bumps, scans or announcements and in all honesty, I am a little jealous.

I didn’t enjoy pregnancy, I don’t think I can go as far to say that I hated it but there were defiantly more lows to being up the duff than highs. Well for one, I am scared of being sick and you can pretty much guarantee that you will throw up at least once in your pregnancy or at the very least feel like you are for a good few weeks, I was still being sick at 22 weeks with Cassius, thanks boy! I lived in constant fear I was going to throw up in public, it happened only once but it pretty much scared me for life, I also had to use Cora’s beloved handbag to catch it...she wasn’t happy with me at all. The constant feeling like I had the worst hangover from hell made me irritable, grumpy and pretty miserable.

My close friend had HG (Hyperemesis gravidarum), HG is much worse than the normal nausea and vomiting of pregnancy ("morning sickness"). This includes prolonged and severe nausea and vomiting – some women report being sick up to 50 times a day, dehydration – not having enough fluids in your body because you can't keep drinks down; if you're drinking less than 500ml a day, you need to seek help, ketosis – a serious condition that results in the build-up of acidic chemicals in the blood and urine; ketones are produced when your body breaks down fat, rather than glucose, for energy and weight loss. My friend lost over a stone in the first 2 months and there wasn’t that much of her to start with. She was in and out of hospital and pretty much ruined any joy she was meant to be experiencing at the time. My sickness was nothing like that and I can tell you, I proberly would have only done it the once if it had been.

I really struggled with my changing body too, I have pretty much been the same size and weight since I was 18 (don’t hate me, it’s a control thing) and the change of shape and size made me so uneasy. I felt uncomfortable in this new body and my skin itched like hell from all the stretching. I didn’t know how to dress and normal maternity styles just weren’t my thing, so I ended up wearing my normal clothes with stretchy vests underneath to cover the overhang. I never felt comfortable.

Pelvic pain, oh the pain! It made walking impossible and one day while “trying to stay active” I was overtaken by an old lady with a walking stick, this is no joke. Passer-bys, people in their cars would stop and ask me if I was “ok? Or in “labour?” on my daily walks, it was funny I guess but I must have looked like I was in a lot of pain while I walked for people to actually stop and try and help me. This was also one of my highlights of being pregnant, the help I would get! I always got a seat on the bus if I needed, as soon as I would waddle on and I would see person after person shoot up and offer me their seat. The people of Scotland don’t always get a lot of compliments but they defiantly have good manners when it comes to pregnancy etiquette.

Despite the sickness, the swollen ankles and the piles (!) I can’t help but find myself forgetting about all that and remembering the amazing things that came with it all, when I see the bumps, scans and announcements.

The first time I saw my children on the scanner, the little flutter of heart beat on the screen that tells me you are still there.

The first time, I saw my stomach move when you kicked me and made me feel like you were going to burst through my skin.

The first time, you got hiccups in my stomach and then every night after, after my dinner. It was like clockwork. My daughter still gets the hiccups after her dinner each night.

The first time I saw you, you flip flopped onto my stomach and I can remember seeing the thick matt of dark hair and how pink you were.

The seeing of a newborn or a pregnant woman can be a trigger for broodiness, it certainly is for me. Being around people who are pregnant can trigger emotions such as jealousy and sadness, which I think links back to when we had lost yet another baby and I never thought it would happen, I prayed that it was me, who was pregnant, my womb would contract and the feeling of bitterness would elope me.

Being patient and allowing yourself the time to accept that you have gone through a miscarriage and all the feelings it brought, or excepting the fact that any more babies are not on the cards will help you move forward. 

Whatever you do, don’t add guilt about your feelings to everything else. It is normal if your immediate reactions to pregnancy and baby news are not jumping for joy, especially if it brings back old hidden feelings. Acknowledging these feelings means ‘owning’ them, and accepting them. It doesn’t make me a bad person. It makes me human.

It’s all temporary though.

I have my two children, they are just getting older, more independent and that’s the hard pill to swallow. One day they won’t need me, each day they need me less and less and this is why I am finding myself wanting another. To feed my desperation that I am needed by someone. Completely selfish.

I know this is ridiculous though, Christ I am 32 and believe me; I still need my parents from time to time.

So for now I will go all gooey eyed when I see my friends growing bumps, a waddling stranger in the street or a tiny new born baby with their exhausted parents then I will look at my beautiful babies. Remember how they grew in my body, the sleepless nights, the not knowing what the hell was wrong after hours of crying and with a bump I will be right back to reality.

Nope, I won’t be having anymore...maybe...nope. nope. NOPE!!