Why I am Waiting to Potty Train

My son is about to turn 2 and it seems all I am hearing just now is “when are you going to start potty training?”

If you’re stressing about potty training, I feel you, guys. Just take a deep breath and tell yourself not to rush it. All children are not the same and not every child is ready to potty train by age two.

As a mother, we are presented with so many pressures about our own child’s development that it is hard not to get caught up in the panic. It starts from the very beginning; as soon as baby is born we are comparing births, then weight gain, breast or formula and sleeping. The list goes on.

Potty training is one of this things that us mothers feel judged on and get the dreaded guilt on, we ask ourselves if we should potty train because “such and such” is, even though our own child has no awareness of the condense of their nappy.

Every child is different; from my experience with potty training (ex-nursery worker) I have seen children as young as 18 months and as old as 4 beginning to potty train. We need to be guided by the child or it can lead to some very “messy” consciences. Literally.

The basics about potty training is that if the child is ready, it happens pretty quick and easily. If not, fights with your child about doing something they don't want to are fights you will probably never win.

My daughter was ready to potty train at 2 years old; she hated a dirty nappy and would tell us as she was going poo poo in her nappy. She was also interested in the toilet and seeing me and my husband using it, so it seemed about right that we would get the potty out and try it.

Day one when very well, she used the potty and was excited about having “big girl pants” but then she sat on the potty and did her first poo. I gave her the usual round of applause for this everyday mundane action and when she stood up and had a look she freaked out! “ Ah, what’s that mummy?!” she cried as she tried to frantically get away from the brown unfamiliar number two. Then it hit me, she had no idea what a poo actually like.

Whenever Cora filled her nappy, and gosh she was an epic pooper, we would wipe and throw the nappy away. We never actually showed her the contents of her nappy so she had never seen her own waste. So the surprise of seeing the alien turd was understandable.

This did set us back and we decided to focus on discussing her stool (what has my life become?!?) for two weeks and start again when she had grasped the idea of what comes out of her bum. (What is life?)

After the two weeks she got it and the idea of a log escaping her no longer freak her out but something else happened in those two week. I had found out I was pregnant and morning sickness had hit. Every time cora sat on the potty, I would gag and vomit. Even the thought of empting that horrid potty sent me running to the bathroom. Yuck!

The potty was binned and we got her a seat for the toilet, this helped my sickness so much as I no longer had to dump, scrub, gag and vomit every time she went potty. 3 days in and she had just got it, no crazy techniques as she was just ready.

Cassi on the other hand recently shit down the crack in the middle of my sofa and sat in it for a good half hour before I was aware of what happened. He is definitely a lot more relaxed than Cora is and is perfectly happy to have his nappy so swollen that its down at his ankles. (I have NEVER done that...)

If I know my son, he will be closer to 3 before we attempt to potty train. Yes I will love that we no longer have to deal with the nappy dramas but my boy seems and is so little still that he isn’t ready for that step and I don’t plan on forcing him into something he isn’t ready for. I like the idea of being led by my child as it does make the whole transition a lot easier and less messy. You can set the stage, but your child has to do the work. The MOST important secret for stress-free potty learning is that the child be ready. If you push your child, you may end up with serious issues, from a child with constant accidents, to power struggles, to a child with faecal retention. Wait until they are ready. Does it really matter when that is? Sooner or later, everyone uses toilets. Handled with good cheer and confidence, its our job as parent to make sure its positive as this is a giant leap for them.

Children do everything when they are ready, just like I don’t expect him to be taking his dummy to school, I don’t expect him to still be in nappies either. Humans have been doing it for a very long time—they will get there eventually. It will happen, one day he will know and I will know too but until them I will happily care for that little smelly tush.

Disclaimer: If you potty trained your child before age three, please know I’m not shaming you. This article is written from a place of love and geared towards mums who don’t wait to toilet train early, or whose baba’s that aren’t quite ready yet.

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